Do They Know It’s Christmas?

One of my annual Christmas rituals is trying to identify all the artists in this video. I’ve been trying for 25 years, and I still can’t name everyone. It’s much more difficult than the “We Are The World” video. I suppose I could rely on Wikipedia or some other internet source to give me the complete list, but where’s the fun in that? If you’re at a Christmas party over the next few days, I recommend playing this, and trying to come up with a complete list. Even naming the group the musician belongs to is acceptable in my book.

Here, I’ll start things off:

Paul Young, Boy George, Phil Collins, George Michael, Simon Le Bon, Sting, the dude from Spandau Ballet, Bono, I think Paul Weller, and one guy from The Culture Club, one guy with a ponytail who looks like The Edge but isn’t The Edge, and some guy in a hat.

There you go. That’s your first 1:47. Good luck and God speed, especially for any of you born after 1980.

Goodnight, Irene

“Last Saturday night, I got married
And me, and my wife, we settled down.”-Lead Belly

Yes, I am the kind of guy who DJs his own wedding. And yes, I am the kind of fella who posts his wedding playlist for all to see. That’s just the kind of man I am. Enjoy.

Sadly, I ended up not being able to play every song on my list. I actually started out with a list of over 700 songs, but culled that list down to about 95. I tweaked in the weeks leading up to the wedding, and came up with the final list of 89. But even then, I couldn’t play them all. By about 1:00 a.m., people were itching to head to the after-party and so I had to cut some tunes out. We wrapped at about 1:30 a.m., and headed back to the AV Club (yes, we also hosted our own after-party) to get our drink on. It hurt to have to cut some songs, but I console myself with the fact that people danced their asses off for five straight hours, and that the after-party ended up being an insanely good time.

For any who want more specifics, and there may be a few of you, the night went like this:

Wedding Party Entrance Song
“Way I Are”-Timbaland (feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E.)

Bride & Groom Entrance Song
“People Get Up And Drive Your Funky Soul”-James Brown

Surprise Songs For The Bride
“Question”-Old 97’s
“Ramona”-Joe Bird
(Both songs performed live by Tim Smith and Matt Grier)

First Song
“Five Days In May”-Blue Rodeo
“I Will”-The Beatles

Dance With The Parents
“Fly Me To The Moon”-Frank Sinatra

Wedding Party Dance
“Lovers In A Dangerous Time”-Barenaked Ladies

Me, my new wife, and the wedding party then gathered everyone for “Two Step” by the Dave Matthews Band, and the party was on.

We also made the very wise decision of having a Tickle Trunk at our wedding. We filled it with hats, glasses, wigs and other assorted items, and brought it out for all to share during the dance. I was a bit worried about whether it would catch on or not, but everyone loved it. Huge hit. It was fantastic to see people walking around the reception hall wearing bumblebee hats, gigantic pink glasses and other wild and whacky items. I recommend it for any and every party.

Idea!

Superhero: The Scratcher

Superpower: Scratching cars driven by d-bags who double park

Symbol: Key

Justice: Served

Music or the Misery?

You know that scene from High Fidelity, the one at the very beginning where Rob wonders out loud whether people listen to pop music because they are miserable, or whether they are miserable because they listen to pop music? Well, I think of that line every time I listen to “I Would Be Sad” by the Avett Brothers. That song just murders my heart. Listen at your own peril.

Flip Flop Fly Ball

This is definitely my new favourite website. And this my new favourite post. If I could buy that image as a print and hang it on my wall, I would. And the play-by-play is that extra  of detail that makes dorks like me giddy. Kudos to the site’s creator, Craig Robinson.

87th Avenue Freezeout

My friend Alex and I went to the University of Alberta tonight to snap some pictures of a street we both used to call home. The UofA has recently demolished or moved a number of houses in the North Garneau area, along 87th avenue and in-between 110th and 111 street. Only three houses still remain on the block, including the one Alex and I both used to live in. We call it the “Kap house,” as it has been the residence of the Kappa Alpha Literary Society and its members for almost twenty years. Others likely call it “the one with the key on the front,” or “that place with the dorks in suits playing chess and guitar,” but the point is that the house still remains. Many others do not. Their places and spaces will be filled with two Graduate Student residences by 2010.

As I walked around 87th avenue with Alex tonight, it dawned on me that, despite living in the Kap house for four years, and either going to school or working at the UofA for eleven more, I only ever set foot in one other house on that block. I never ever thought I’d feel regret over such a thing, but I do. The Kap house is one of the most important places in my life. It is the house where I spent time with many of my closest friends, including my best man, two groomsmen, two bridesmaids and my soon-to-be wife. It’s a special place for me and my friends, and after tonight I can’t help but wish I knew more about the special memories created by other students in those houses-of-no-more. What did the insides of the houses look like? What did they feel like? What crazy things happened inside them? Who fell in love? Who fell out of love? Who got drunk and passed out on the bedroom floor? Who read that book that changed their life? All these questions I now have, along with the realization that they’ll likely never be answered. So yes, regret is exactly what I feel.

I understand the University’s need for more housing space, but I still think it’s unfortunate that this row of houses had to be sacrificed. They were older houses, but they were also unique buildings, full of character and full of memories. Along with the trees that hang over 87th avenue, they provided a lovely, picturesque entranceway to the main UofA campus. In fact, it was one of the few remaining areas on campus where you could look and say, “yes, that’s exactly what a university campus is supposed to look like.” How does one replace such things?

In fairness, the mock-ups (see “street scene” 1-7) for the new buildings actually do look nice. They appear to be built-to-scale, and reflect the look and charm of the houses they are replacing. I don’t care much for the look and design of the buildings the University has recently constructed, but I am optimistic that the finished products along 87th avenue will indeed look as good as their mock-ups. Once that’s done, it shouldn’t take long for new, fantastic memories to be created within those residence walls.

More information on the University’s plans for the “East Campus Village” (a terrible name that we all still make fun of) can be found here. A slideshow of my pictures can be found on my Flickr page.

Fall Books

Five new books from five of my favourite authors all come out in late September and October.

• Juliet, Naked-Nick Hornby (September 29)
• Manhood for Amateurs-Michael Chabon (October 6)
• Chronic City-Jonathan Lethem (October 13)
• Eating the Dinosaur-Chuck Klosterman (October 20)
• The Book of Basketball-Bill Simmons (October 27)

The Klosterman has me the most excited. It will be good to read Chuck in his wheelhouse, the extended essay. There are three other October releases I’m also eager to get my hands on.

• The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma-Trenton Lee Stewart (October 6)
• Peter & Max-Bill Willingham (October 13)
• Jack of Fables, Vol. 6-Bill Willingham (October 20)

Peter & Max is the first, stand-alone Fables novel. It will be interesting to see if Willingham is as capable with that format as he is with the comic book (his Fables series is, in my opinion, still the best comic series going).

***Update***
Some more delicious reads for the fall.

• Andromeda Klein-Frank Portman (August 25)
• Green Metropolis: Why Living Smaller, Living Closer and Driving Less are the Keys to Sustainability (September 17)
• A New Literary History of America-edited by Greil Marcus and Werner Sollors (September 23)
• Perfect: Don Larsen’s Miraculous World Series Game and the Men Who Made It Happen-Lew Paper (September 29)
• And Another Thing…-Eoin Colfer (October 12)
• The Wild Things-Dave Eggers (October 13)
• Best Music Writing 2009-edited by Greil Marcus (October 13)
• What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures-Malcolm Gladwell (October 20)

Anyone else have any recommendations?

My Ideal Sidekick

Don’t ask me how long I thought about this. You’ll just embarrass me.

Objective: Find the ideal sidekick.
Criterion: Must be non-human, non-mythological and non-fictional.
Historical Sidekicks: Robin, Watson, Tonto, Chewbacca, Goose, Cameron Frye, Andy Richter, Tom Sawyer, Samwise Gamgee, Newton.
Sources: World Wide Web, my mind-grapes.

Candidates

Dolphin
Pros: Super-smart, genial, protective, awesome.
Cons: I don’t spend much time near water.
Conclusion: If I lived near an ocean, top choice.

Monkey
Pros: Practically family, smart, could hang around my shoulder, would look good with an eye-patch.
Cons: Likes to sling feces, moody, might murder me in my sleep.
Conclusion: The love-hate relationship would ultimately destroy us.

Gorilla
Pros: My brother!, would get me into any bar I want, would look good in a pinstriped suit and a fedora, we could sign to each other.
Cons: Wouldn’t eat bacon, might join forces with Gorilla Grodd or Donkey Kong, on endangered list, chest-thumping would get old fast.
Conclusion: I don’t need to take care of another primate that just sits around and eats all day. I already have to take care of myself.

Dog
Pros: Domesticated, potty-trained, good for cuddling or rescuing me from avalanches.
Cons: Bad for allergies, not likely to strike fear in the hearts of men.
Conclusion Boring. Everybody has a dog.

Polar Bear
Pros: Terrifying, bad-ass motherfucker, I could travel on his back, excellent swimmer.
Cons: Doesn’t like warm climates, sleeps too much, liable to mistake me for seal or walrus.
Conclusion: If I could cover his body in armour, maybe.

Owl
Pros: Symbol of wisdom, doesn’t like mornings, the cool chicks would dig him, a group of owls is called a “parliament,” there are Elf Owls.
Cons: Not good in full-fledged battle, farsighted, lack of a vicious streak.
Conclusion: Will be my sidekick in my retirement years.

Falcon
Pros: Good size, can travel long distances, good at clawing out eyes, cry would terrify enemies, can swoop in and land on my shoulder, always wanted to be a Falconer.
Cons: Hard to control, good at clawing out my eyes, may fly away and never return.
Conclusion: Worth the risk. Winner!

Fall

It’s August 14, 2009, and fall has arrived. Certainly feels like it, anyway. And I’m fine with that. Hell, I’m more than fine with that. I love fall. Fall means back-to-school, new clothes, new pens, pencils and pencil cases, red leaves, orange leaves, yellow leaves, a beautiful river valley, crunchy sidewalks, baseball playoffs, the start of the football and hockey season, Madden, Thanksgiving, cardigans, hot tea, and my birthday. Fall is awesome. Fall is now.

RIP John Hughes

Here’s an essay I wrote about John Hughes a few years ago.